This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
And that’s just the first 25 entries…
I’m looking forward to hilarious new hits based on searches for the title of this entry.
(via just about every atheist/skeptic site in my sidebar)
Is probably more like something I’d design these days, if only I wasn’t so lazy. I have 87 widgets in the sidebars now, how cool is that?
I’d post something meatier if I wasn’t drunk off of my ass, and could comprehend English right about now. As it is, I have 77 text messages that I’ve sent to myself while completely out of my gourd at various bars and clubs that I’ve been waiting to compile into one entry of retardedness. I’m ever so clever when I’m unintelligible, and on the occasions where I can decipher what I was trying to communicate to myself upon becoming sober, it’s usually a treat. Or, um. Well, not. I’ll probably post a glop of that shit between now and Monday. It depends on how drunk I am between now and then… Bleh bleh.
Okay, look. What’s so scandalous about seeing some random celebrity’s panties? Panties have several purposes. One of them is to cover up vaginas. You are meant to see the panties. That means they’re working, and you’re not seeing vagina. I really don’t understand what’s so embarrassing about being seen in your undies, either. The only difference between a bra and panties and a bikini is the fabric they’re made of, and women happily walk about on the beach in a bikini. And when they do, their isn’t a similar shocked and appalled reaction to OMG vagina hidden only by a thin layer of lycra/spandex. Are we all still in kindergarten?
Now, full on vag shot, that’s something else. And I’m 100% convinced, never accidental. Whores.
My internet connection sucks, and throws me offline a number of times a day. Just because you see me come “online” on any IM service (especially Yahoo, since it never preserves my away status), it doesn’t mean I’m now sitting in front of my machine, waiting eagerly to talk to you. If you’ll notice, I’m usually connected 24 hours a day. Coming online from having just been offline means my modem thought it should take a short break. It works hard Torrenting things all day, you know. Coming online from having just been away means I might actually want to chat. This never happens. Don’t get excited if you think you see it. You probably just weren’t paying enough attention.
Summary: Don’t ever IM me.
* Popular but completely incorrect usage of this word, I know. Sue me.
Why is that asterisk a square. Hm. WordPress, are you <li>ifying my asterisks without my permission?
If there are any problems with THIS layout, I don’t want to know about them. Because I don’t (currently) see any that are going to persuade me to sit here any longer. At least everything seems to be WORKING. Stupid WordPress stupid update making me stupid have to fix stupid everything.
You know that something is seriously bad for you in a list of ingredients when the manufacturers have decided that they need to include an excuse for adding it on the packaging, i.e. “sodium benzoate (to preserve freshness)”. This is an even better rule of thumb than “if you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it.” Especially since I’m not an idiot, and know how to read quite well, thank you very much. Besides… check out Wikipedia’s list of vitamins. How many of those do you think the average moron can pronounce? There would be a lot of people walking around with scurvy, rickets, night-blindness, anemia, dropsy, the grip, scrofula, the vapors, jungle rot, dandy fever, poor man’s gout, housemaid’s knee, climactic boo bow, the staggers, and dum dum fever if everybody took that shit seriously. And I suppose that the illiterate aren’t allowed to eat at all? Is this why all of those Africans are starving?
I’m still working on properly wording the reasons why, lest any of you think I’m joking.
I am entirely serious.
Paris Hilton is a genius.
While I’m dealing with my cognitive dissonance, there’s also this:
Are people really still whining about Google Street View? Because the fucking name itself kind of implies that one would be able to view the related images from the street. There’s a reason they don’t call the site Google Toilet-Bowl Vview. I mean, I don’t know if you guys were aware, but… most streets are public property, which means that they are not private property, which means that you are not entitled to privacy on those streets, since you’re in public (am I going in circles). This is why people invented curtains and fences. Pointing a (zoom) lens at half-naked celebrities from half a mile away on a public street… kind of creepy, but entirely legal. Pointing a lens at half-naked celebrities from directly in front of them with their explicit permission… somehow potentially illegal, inappropriate, and obscene / yadda yadda yadda. A plentiful financial bounty can be yours, with the right attorney! See the power some nails and wood can give you? Build a barrier and STFU, penises. Or find a convenient knot-hole, and become rich overnight! No brains or hard work involved in either one of these strategies.
And in the case of you pathetic non-celebrities? Pff. If we can see you from the street, no doubt you’re trying to be seen. And if we can see you protesting on television, no doubt you’re trying to make a quick buck and get your fifteen minutes. Fucking hypocrites. Speaking out against what you most crave. And if you’re not on television? What the fuck. I don’t give a shit about you. Fuck off.
[edit]Extra emphasis in order to be more facetious.[/edit]
Dreamweaver 8 crashes on some Vista systems while browsing for files
Yes.
Yes it does.
This is pissing me the fuck off.
Forgot yet again that it was bound to happen eventually, lost me all sorts of edits.
Grrrrrrrrr…
Yeah, yeah… they addressed the possibility of abortion in “Knocked Up”. Good call on that one, because otherwise I would have been pointing it out like twelve times as hard, at least. I maintain that the entire premise of that movie is fucked. That embryo would have been toast, immediately. Jew-boy would never have known about it. I guess that wouldn’t make for a very entertaining two hours, though. Eh. I have no suspension of disbelief.
Anywhom, you know that person in the theatre who spends the entire movie annoying you by sniffling and sneezing and coughing every five seconds. Hi. That’s me. I felt bad, but naturally, not that bad. Since the world revolves around me and all. My enjoyment outweighs your annoyance in importance. Times eight million.
Does anybody know of an effective way to trap gnomes? My apartment seems to have a rather bad infestation. I haven’t seen them so far, but just this week several things have gone missing. An MP3 player and my wallet being the big ones, but any random thing I’ve happened to be looking for has been curiously absent as well. The MP3 player could have been lost anywhere, but the wallet was never taken out of the apartment — I haven’t been using the purse it fits into, and have been taking the cards out and putting them loose into my smaller purse (at least that means I didn’t lose anything important IN the wallet). There haven’t been any shady or unsupervised people in the apartment, and besides, what would anyone want with a bottle of Lysol, a spool of black thread, some pink barrettes, or a couple of 18g needles? It could only be gnomes. I’m convinced of it. I’m not one of those people that misplaces things. The table beside our bed, the desk, and the bathroom closet all look like tornadoes hit them, but I know exactly what’s there, and exactly where it is. So now I need to capture and torture these gnomes, and get them to give my stuff back. Advice, please.