Negativesmart

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Motherfucking beans on toast!, originally uploaded by Lintilla.

Yeah, that’s all I have to say.
This is basically the only food I have in my apartment right now. Cans and cans of beans.
Next time I post I […]

Look. I think it’s perfectly legitimate, if you’re resurrected, to adopt a new (re)birthday on the date you became one of the undead. But if you’re going to do so, as far as I’m concerned, you forfeit your original birthday.
So what’ll it be, Jesus? Christmas, or Easter? You can’t have both. I know you’re just […]

Yeah, that’s not really relevant to this post at all, but I’m obligated to say some such lameass thing whenever I eat this candy, and Sean ain’t here to hear it (and as if there’s every anything relevant to anything in this space to begin with). Nips hard candy. Hard Nips. Who the fuck named […]

Ah, the weekend. Two weeks ago, I didn’t have these. If you don’t have a job, go to school, or belong to a religion that observes a holy day of some sort, the week has no beginning, and no end. It’s an endless loop of doing whatever the fuck you want. You don’t know what […]

If you’re going to call the flavour of your juice “orange tangerine”, the main ingredient shouldn’t be apple juice. It’s a good thing I happen to like apple juice, and that I knew what I was in for (reading labels is good for you), because otherwise this entry wouldn’t be so short, and I’d be […]

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pigs 1, originally uploaded by mariacaridad.

Sean and I are so over filthy, deadbeat roommates. We’re doing the post-filthy, deadbeat roommate cleanup this weekend. Pro-tip: do not live with filthy deadbeats! Even if they are (ostensibly) […]

Yeah, so I’ve had a working internet connection for a while now. I’ve just been neglecting my site on account of eleventy-billion things have happened recently. I gots me a new job, doing web design junk for some company or other. We gots us a new roommate around here, and he even pays rent (on […]

So, it turns out that AT&T can’t get me reconnected until the 16th. Full-length rant is forthcoming, but I’m going to give myself a little time to get angrier, first. I might call Covad/Speakeasy and see if there’s anything they can do for me, because I’d love to get rid of AT&T altogether, but it […]

My dry loop internet still isn’t up and running (fuck you AT&T), but I did finally figure out how to get online using T-Mobile GPRS on my cell. Every time I mention anything remotely technical I get hit with searches from people having issues, so here’s the secret, BTW: for anything other than e-mail, if […]

I had a life on the weekend, and my internet was out for the last two and a half days. On top of that, Sean is leaving for his tour tomorrow, so there have been all sorts of people running around over here getting ready, and I’ve got a ton of things to help him […]

Most of the people I associate with online and off are college students, college dropouts, freelancers, or artists of various sorts. I fall into several of those categories, myself. None of us have a lot of much any money, so it is absolutely necessary to economize. Sometimes this means buying the cheapest available products. Buying […]

I don’t have much to say right now, Internet.
So. #1. I don’t know whether anyone ever looks at all the junk in my sidebars, but if my blog is temporarily boring, you can always get everything in that Google Reader Shared box over there formatted as its own fancy little blog. If I’m not posting […]

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Tipsy Zombos, originally uploaded by Lintilla.

Wait, I didn’t post, this, eh. You should always assume that if you see one, that there are hundreds more that you don’t see, but I’m not in the mood […]

Take off, eh.

That’s all I have to say about that.
And fuck all you pseudo-Libertarian (hell, big L or little l) douchebags, too.
…
Not really having anything to do with Ron Paul, though, but…
Why is it that so many intelligent people that I respect for so many reasons happen to be dipshit libertarian asshats? Why?
Penn & Teller. Trey Parker […]

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She Prefers Dasani, originally uploaded by mckayormacky.

I can’t believe people still don’t feel like complete suckers when they buy bottled water. I can’t believe they allow themselves to be seen in public, displaying their lack […]

I don’t want to go to the post office.
I don’t want to go to the store.
I don’t want to buy the following:

Tinfoil
Vitamins
Potatoes
Tomato sauce
Pasta
Ground black pepper
Olive oil
Paper towels
Toilet paper
Ketchup
Floor cleaner
Contact lens solution
Cat food
Razor blades
Hamburger buns

And I know you don’t want to hear about it. But you might as well be bored right along with me, and […]

If you have a problem with that, get off of my blog, and take your stupid with you, stupids.
I reserve the right to bastardize the English language in any way I please. I feel entitled to break the rules based on my above average knowledge of, pff, well. Everything. Breaking rules because you’re a dummy […]

I’ve been watching old commercials all afternoon on YouTube. Send me more! I demand that someone finds me Thomas Cavanagh doing Labatt Blue Light (”If I wanted water, I’d ask for water!”), because I can’t seem to track it down.
I wish I hadn’t been such a nerd, and edited all the commercials out of my […]

More zombie goodness last night… Above is what I looked like when I got home. Luckily the fake blood didn’t stain anything, including my hair, but it’s a bitch getting that stuff in your eyes, for future reference (at least if you’re wearing contacts). I was half blind for a little bit there, but […]

Hey, internet perverts! I know you’re out there! (And seriously, who doesn’t have a fetish that they’d rather not reveal outside of the anonymity of the interbutts?)
Achoo.
Achooooo.
Aaaaaa-fucking–choooooo.
I can’t stop sneezing anyway.
Can someone at least pay me for this shit, please?

Who the hell just found my website by searching for “instructions kd macaroni”. First of all, the instructions are on the box, brainiac. Second… anyone who calls it KD shouldn’t need instructions, because if you’re Canadian, you’re born with the required knowledge. The amounts of ingredients are instinctual. If you use a measuring cup, you’re […]

How to Make Money With Your Blog. Blah. SEO. Blah. Monetization. Blah. Boring. Lame. Gay. Gay gay gay gay super gay.
Here’s the only tip that matters: have a blog that doesn’t suck. Then make money as an afterthought. Preferably by supplementing your excellent content with more excellent content, in a form that people might potentially […]

Almay Hydracolor lipstick has 100% more water (and probably costs 100% more, but maybe I’m just a cynical bastard).
That’s right! 100% more water. Taking up the space that would otherwise be filled with, I dunno…
Actual goddamn lipstick.
I’m completely sold.

“Diets rich in whole grains and other plant foods, and low in saturated fat and cholesterol may help reduce the risk of heart disease.”
Yes. That may be true. And it would be just as likely to be true if you printed the same thing on a package of lard. Doesn’t mean the contents of the […]