Category Archives: Random

Cannot sleep.

Posted on by
Reply

The fact that my cat won’t allow me to remove her from my head without biting me isn’t helping, either. Good thing she likes my hair (I guess it tastes good, too?), because all Sean said after taking an hour and a half to notice that it was an entirely different length and an entirely different colour was “ehhhhhhh.” Thanks, husband. Could you try to be a little bit less of a cliché next time? I am sorry that it’s not Hot Topic enough for you. (I’m trying to grow my hair — no doubt I will fail, as I have failed before. But for now I am feeling patient.)

Oh yeah, I smashed up my car today. Pity me. I feed on pity. Meh. I’m over it. As long as I don’t have any phantom neck-injuries that haven’t chosen to manifest themselves just yet. Yarg. I have to work tomorrow, damn all. Where’s a good accounting textbook when you need one?

Bah. Here’s another complaint for you, while I’m on a roll: del.icio.us is not posting weblog entries to my site. Figures. Just when I decide to start using something, it breaks. Hmph. Go here. It’s linktastic. And beware of WMF exploits, kids. Even using Firefox doesn’t make you safe from this one (just about three billions times safer — just say no to executing WMF files, and don’t give in to peer pressure).

Happy Solstice / Io, Saturnalia / etc / etc

Posted on by
Reply

I plan to celebrate by staying in bed all day tomorrow and hibernating slash eating books, on account of my brain is b0rked. And on account of my Christmas present from work was having my hours (and monies) cut in half until January because the store has been dead lately. Thanks, werk.

In other news… what?

And for my own future reference, because I am too lazy and headachy to figure out how to get this working now: Using the Stumbleupon XML Feed. Also this.

Naptime.

What does it mean?

Posted on by
11

This was in my drafts folder when I woke up: “If you are yearlly so think that i would go to sleep, well go…lakdj!”

I guess I was unsuccessful at filling in the recipient, so I don’t know who it was intended for. It seems like I was angry. But about what!? It is a mystery. Yeah, I guess I had fun last night. I think.

Eating less means people consume less food!

Posted on by
4

The new issue of Skeptical Inquirer reprints Stephen Barrett’s “Analysis of Kevin Trudeau’s ‘Natural Cures’ Infomercial”. It’s like MST3K for skeptics. Stephen just wrote down most of the things I used to sit there yelling at Trudeau on 47 screens on Sunday mornings when I was working at Fox. Good times, those were.

I thought I’d link to it again because a) “Kevin Trudeau” is the number two search term used to find my website (second only to “nautical star tattoos” — and kids, bad idea = getting the new trendy symbol marked on you, because: do you know how long trends last? now, do you know how long tattoos last? compare your answers here…), and b) I still feel irresponsible for having access to a television station’s copy of this bullshit without so much as “misplacing” it when I quit. I feel a little bit better to know that nobody watched anything that station aired except for The 700 Club and American Idol. But somebody managed to get the book out of Walgreens, and I still feel compelled to write at least 47 letters of complaint. Maybe not until I acquire a typewriter and become at least 5% more curmudgeonly. I mean, I’m already curmudgeonly, but not so much that it overcomes my affinity for doing absolutely nothing…

One day I hope to become at least as curmudgeonly (er, pseudo-curmudgeonly) as Ted L. Nancy, Lazlo Toth (Don Novello) or these guys. So far, I have only one cat. I’m aiming to collect at least 27 more.

P.S.

Curmudgeonly.

Fair Warning

Posted on by
Reply

Or it would be, if only Sean paid any attention to anything I post online. Next chance I get, the Beetlejuice ringtone on our phone is so being replaced by “Yakety Sax”. No one knows the joy that it brings to me. Maybe I’m just slightly tipsy. Imma gonna get offa the Internets, now. Imagine that. Y’know what’s even more emo than having a LiveJournal? Yeh — having a real journal. S’okay, though. I stopped writing terrible poetry in there when I was 13. Remind me to repost my pathetic depressed-13-year-old website sometime, though. Manohman, what a stereotype I was. Hay, that shit fast-tracked me into art school. If I’m gonna be a stereotype, best be believing I’m gonna be a superior stereotype. Coulda been doing that shit as a living by now. Jebus, what a joke. Tampon in a teacup. So very paradigm shifting. Ramble end.

Yay! I love utility companies!

Posted on by
Reply

Peoples Energy, I shake my fist at you. $16.24 activation charge? For what? To change the information on the already existing, already working account? Don’t you think that if you are going to charge $16.24 for this service that you should make some effort to at least get that information right?

Who is Dean Payne? I know that my handwriting can be a little bit messy sometimes (although I’m pretty careful about it in cases where I would like people to copy something down accurately). But if anything, half of my letters are scribbles that look like esses (at least gee, wi, dee, bee, pee, jay, and duh… ess…) I’m reasonably sure that I couldn’t possibly have made the name Sean look like Dean. And it’s a curious fact that the letter dee is right next to ess on the keyboard…

You bastards didn’t even bother to change the address on the account. You have the street number wrong. You have the apartment number wrong. It’s probably a fluke that the bill wound up in the right state. It took three weeks to convince you that my apartment existed, and even then, your customer service representatives could not figure out how to enter it into the computer. The only apartment at this address on record is “basement”. There is no basement here…

I confuses me why the account is in my husband’s name (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) in the first place, since apparently you were unable to open an account using his SSN when we called you and tried. You told us that Sean was already in your system, and that he owed you several hundreds of dollars. I wonder whose number is now incorrectly associated with us.

I look forward to paying you unnecessarily large sums of my money every month for what I hope will continue to be sub-par service.

P.S. – Metric system, plz. WTF is a “therm”. People that aren’t stupid measure in joules.

…

Speaking of idiotic organizations, my green card arrived today, miraculously. The address on the envelope doesn’t exist… The USPS, in a freakish episode of competenceness managed to get it to its destination. And the mailman, in a freakish episode of paying attention to what the hell he was doing managed to put it into the mailbox instead of onto the floor beneath it as usual. Thanks, mailman! That was nice of you!

Hay everybody!

Posted on by
Reply

I don’t think I even mentioned that I was going anywhere… but you might have noticed a conspicuous silence. I’ve been out on tour for the last 10 days or so with Cyanotic, acting as official scantily-clad groupie / merch bitch. I’m still on tour actually… last day (not counting one more show about a week from now). I’m in a dressing room in Milwaukee drinking free beer and partaking of the delicious veggie and cheese trays while stealing me some neighbourhood internet. I’m so glad that people are stupid, and don’t know how to secure their shit. Connections named “default” and “linksys” have been my saviours this whole tour. The “rockstars” are out wandering the streets at the moment, so I have a few minutes to download RSS feeds (Candice, you n3rd) and enjoy some goddamn fucking silence (die, extroverts, die)… I’ll post more when I’m back in Indiana, where there is less free Stoli and absolutely nothing to do. Oh. Except find a job. Moving to Chicago September 1st. Somebody hire me. I can do er… computery things and televisiony things. They both kind of suck, but anyway. Job. Give. Me. Now. Candice. Broke. Going to sign off now, though… While I can still spell.