Category Archives: Personal

Linus Pauling didn’t know nothin’

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Who needs studies? I just got over a cold. Now I have another cold. I drink about eleventy-seven glasses of orange juice a day. I am led to believe that either vitamin C is useless, or that God hates me.

In any case, this is not fair. The universe is a cruel, cruel place. Know what else is useless? Every type of nasal decongestant available. Or maybe the medicine is working, and I’d be twice as sick without it. I don’t want to find out. I guess I’ll keep popping the pills.

Man, I feel super attractive lately. Bright red clown nose from constant nose-blowing, bright red zits from sleeping in a room that feels like it’s on the surface of the sun, bright red eyes from who knows what (but they’ve been freakishly dry ever since I moved here — it’s probably just jhe chemtrails — hah!). Just perfect for job interviews! Gah!

9-64-090 (e), eh?

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Rebuttal: 9-64-090 (k).

So, yeah. Nice new apartment in Chicago. In a residential parking zone. I just moved here. I do not have a city sticker. I do not have a residential parking permit. I do not have any of the 87 other things my car needs to be legal in this state. I am not required to have these things yet, because there is a 30 day grace period. There is no way for anybody looking at my car to know that, though. Those stickers are what keeps cars on this street from being ticketed and/or towed. So everytime I go outside, there’s a happy orange suprise waiting for me on my windshield. I would gladly pay for the darn stickers, but it’s a long weekend. I would have paid for them first chance I got, on Friday, but the paperwork I needed was still buried in a box somewhere. I will pay for them sometime in the near future, but in the meantime… please to not be towing my car, thx. Luckily, this street is only a tow zone during speicial events. Unluckily, Jimmy Buffet counts as a special event, and he’s playing just down the road. I guess it’s okay, unless they decide to tow me in the next two hours or so… but still. Very lame. Maybe I’ll just go sit on my hood until then. Or maybe I’ll just stick a copy of my lease and a note in giant magic marker letters with lots of exclamation points on my window. Or maybe I’ll just sit here eating ice cream and not watching TV or using the internet at any acceptable speed because our cable isn’t hooked up yet. Yes.

Fair Trade

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Just shelled out $340 to fix more broken parts of my car. I think that in future, it would be a better idea to set up a reciprocal agreement with somebody: if he will fix my car whenever it is broken, I will fix his computer whenever it is broken. Also, I am looking to make friends (before September 1st, if possible) with somebody who has free access to a large truck that doesn’t mind being taken advantage of.

Hay everybody!

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I don’t think I even mentioned that I was going anywhere… but you might have noticed a conspicuous silence. I’ve been out on tour for the last 10 days or so with Cyanotic, acting as official scantily-clad groupie / merch bitch. I’m still on tour actually… last day (not counting one more show about a week from now). I’m in a dressing room in Milwaukee drinking free beer and partaking of the delicious veggie and cheese trays while stealing me some neighbourhood internet. I’m so glad that people are stupid, and don’t know how to secure their shit. Connections named “default” and “linksys” have been my saviours this whole tour. The “rockstars” are out wandering the streets at the moment, so I have a few minutes to download RSS feeds (Candice, you n3rd) and enjoy some goddamn fucking silence (die, extroverts, die)… I’ll post more when I’m back in Indiana, where there is less free Stoli and absolutely nothing to do. Oh. Except find a job. Moving to Chicago September 1st. Somebody hire me. I can do er… computery things and televisiony things. They both kind of suck, but anyway. Job. Give. Me. Now. Candice. Broke. Going to sign off now, though… While I can still spell.

New rule

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I will no longer engage those whose opinions are based entirely on faith in debate about those opinions. I’m afraid that one of these days my head will explode. I’ll supply or lead to information where I can, when someone might actually be interested in real actual truly true facts of truth. But that’s it. Faith is irrational. How is science supposed to compete with that! Facts that just exist on their own!? Amazing!

(Real actual quote, well, er… paraphrase that I encountered recently: “If one so much as suggests that [insert batshit insane claim here] is true without proof that can only be supplied by [insert Evil organization that is covering it up and will therefore never supply that proof], accusations fly of paranoia.”

Yeah, you are indeed being a little bit fucking loony there. How the hell do you argue with crap like this! Where to even begin!? You can’t get proof, but that’s okay, you’re right anyway!? Guh? You’re admitting that you’re full of shit, and that being full of shit is essential to your cause!? And that everyone else is wrongfully accusing you of paranoia because they don’t believe you anyway, despite the fact that you’re admitting that you do not now, and will never have proof? This is where greymatter starts leaking from my ears.)

As far as I can remember, I’ve been a skeptic. I therefore do not have any insight into how one might escape from lunacy. But experience teaches me that no amount of logic can convince someone who is completely dedicated to believing something, no matter how irrational. So no more wasting my time. Ugh.

This leaves me with a problem. How the hell do I escape from conversations initiated by someone else, while defending the honor of Critical Thinking? Won’t it look like complete and utter crap must be true, if I refuse to come up with an argument against it?

And how in the hell do I get people to quit comparing me to a Vulcan. Damn it, I can’t help it if they’re illogical. And it’s just not in my nature to sit there and let them be highly illogical in my vicinity.

Unless I’ve been drinking. If I’ve been drinking, I will gladly participate in some nutty nutjobbery. I’ll be mocking the other participants in my head, but still. It’s an entertaining stretch of the imagination. Damn, the imaginations of some of these kooks make me feel so inferior. Stretched so far that they’re in danger of bursting!

(Let’s see if I hold myself to all of this. Some of these people are just so maddening. I’m not sure if I mean that in the sense that it makes me angry, or the sense that it makes me crazy.)

Old Negativesmart posts up

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I just realized that a lot of my old posts from way way back when (as early as April 2000!) are still lurking around on Blogger. I guess I imported them, like, years ago! I picked one of the no-effort templates and republished the whole thing. If you’re interested in ancient history, the posts are up at negativesmart.blogspot.com. I wish I had even older archives, but there wasn’t really much blogging software at the time, y’know. I did it all by hand, and lots of it is probably lost for good, if the Wayback Machine doesn’t have it. Other bits from my post-Blogger days are lost, too (remember when my hard drive died AND my hosting ate everything in the same week? Grr!) I think I’m going to look around on some of the old CDs I have and see what I can find, though.