Look, geniuses. The words “tips” was not originally an acronym for “To Insure Prompt Service”. For one thing, it would have to have been TEPS, because the proper word is ensure, not insure. For another thing, you’re not going to ensure prompt service by giving someone a tip as you’re leaving. See how that doesn’t make sense? If that was the purpose, you’d tip at the beginning of the meal.

You now have no excuse for ever saying this to me again, Internet.