100% more trickery

Almay Hydracolor lipstick has 100% more water (and probably costs 100% more, but maybe I’m just a cynical bastard).

That’s right! 100% more water. Taking up the space that would otherwise be filled with, I dunno…

Actual goddamn lipstick.

I’m completely sold.

My snacks are trying to trick me

“Diets rich in whole grains and other plant foods, and low in saturated fat and cholesterol may help reduce the risk of heart disease.”

Yes. That may be true. And it would be just as likely to be true if you printed the same thing on a package of lard. Doesn’t mean the contents of the package are good for me.

Besides, monkeys may fly out of my ass.