I will do the opposite of what I usually do, and list ways that America is better than Canada (but I still won’t spell “honour” without a u):

• Butter comes in easy-to-measure “sticks” instead of one big block
• Alcohol is sold in grocery and convenience stores, until late at night, even on Sundays
• Cheapass malt liquor and hobo wine
• Fabulous variety of potentially lethal energy drinks
• Abundance of delicious Mexican food
• Freedom of speech (at least in theory) (“hate speech” is restricted in Canada, which IMHO, leads freedom of speech down a dangerously slippery slope)
• Freedom of the press (also in theory) – no CRTC to “protect” culture or to dictate what media citizens get to consume (no, seriously, “free speech” in Canada is an even bigger joke than it is here, somehow, even considering the BS the FCC keeps pulling)
• No real or symbolic ties to an obsolete monarchy
• Separation of church and state (again, in theory) (see above point for one reason it does not exist in Canada)
• NASA
• White House has central air conditioning (vs. 24 Sussex Drive, which had 22 window units last I heard)
• Non-bilingual packaging allows for more attractive use of whitespace
• Cheaper books and magazines

…more to come, I expect, but I have no attention span.