Why does a cooking show have a band?

I’m assuming it’s to cover for the fact that he’s making FUCKING DRIED PASTA.

With garlic (audience: YAY!!!!!!!) and cognac (OOOOOOOooooooo!!!!) and after the commercial ANOTHER NOTCH (enthusiastic fatty-clapping).

The hi-larious jokes he’s making are obviously to cover for the fact that if it were any other cooking show, he’d have 12 other parts of the meal to be working on, while on his show he is standing around waiting for a pot to boil (or, um… simmer down, ain’t that clever).

Death.