Re: stupid McDonald’s commercial. Yeah. I bet that twit’s parents are huge Cheap Trick fans. For real.

I’m watching Seinfeld right now, and Elaine is in a movie theatre, saving three seats for the guys. The joke is that three seats is too many to save. Everyone keeps getting mad and trying to sit next to her. And well they should. I agree. Three is too many. And you can’t possibly have enough clothes to mark off three seats. The other day, though… I went to see Superman Returns. Sean, my sister and I saw a huge block of seats in the back, so we went to sit down and… “these seats are taken”. “Oh, sorry. Which ones?”. “These eight.” What!? How the hell do you expect to save eight seats! Laurel and I got bitchy with them and sat down anyway, because that’s totally ridiculous, but Sean is a wimp so we lacked solidarity and sat beside them in the end. Not before we explained to the guy sitting on one end of the eight seats that it is customary to mark off the seats with jackets, at least. They hadn’t marked a one, therefore, not saved. Got him worked up enough that he made a fool out of himself by taking his shirt off and placing it on the seat next to him. Score! Making people look stupid is one of my hobbies. But what the crap… EIGHT seats! It’s not as if you need to sit that many people together anyway, because you’re not exactly going to be able to hold a conversation. Even before the movie. You’re in a straight line. And if you need eight people to in buy your food, you’re going to be too busy stuffing your fat pig face to talk anyway. I feel justified in being pissed. And TV agrees with me, so I an obviously right.

Someone needs to invent a lock for bathroom stall doors that can survive door droop.

Dear internet: I am trying to set up moblogging, therefore here is a low quality picture of my cat being boring.

is not “you all”, or even “youse”. It’s too bad that the same word is used to refer to one person or to thousands of people, but that’s the way it is. Learn some grammar. Deal with it. Two year olds are cute when they say “I runned” or “look at the mouses!” You all sound like idiots when youse say “if you all would’ve told me that youse wasn’t going to wait, I would’ve went home”.

Motherfucking fuck! I’ll admit that I probably mix up lay/lie or futher/farther once in a while if I’m not thinking, but… What the bloody hell!? I met many elementary school teachers last year while working as a school portrait photographer, and I have concluded that grammar is doomed.

Note to self: do not have children unless they will be living in Canada (or at least not in Indiana, or in any other part of America that I have ever visited), or unless I have enough money to send them to private school (provided that I can find a private school that will not shove religion and intolerance down their throats).

Also note: the word “height” is spelled “height” and is pronounced… “height”. HEIGHTH IS NOT A WORD.)