Yesterday afternoon my apartment was filled with a thick chemical-scented fog that seemed to be emanating from our oven. It didn’t smell quite like gas, but it definitely didn’t smell like food, either. Google had nothing to say about my problem, and my landlord babbled incoherently for 15 minutes about how it was probably that pilot lights were out (they were all lit), or how supper was probably burning (the oven was empty and off). With no better ideas, I called the gas company, and they decided it was worthwhile to send a couple of guys over, just in case. It took them a whole 10 seconds to determine that the problem was burning paint or varnish fumes that were seeping in from elsewhere in the building. I have no doubt that they were right… Our upstairs neighbours moved out just a short while ago. I guess that apartment just got a fresh coat of paint.

Evidently, this stench is something that the gas company’s technicians encounter all the time. So I thought I’d put this out there for future idiotic Google-searchers (if you, like me, would sit around in your living room, getting a pounding headache and slightly woozy, while taking deeeeep breaths of chemicals while wondering “what is this terrible odor that’s making my eyes burn?” you can’t possibly be all that bright — at the very least, not after those chemicals kill off your remaining braincells). Fumes + gas stove = lung-burning death-fog. It will get worse the more you use your oven or stove, and the problem will persist for several days, apparently. The only way around it is to shut off the gas to your stove completely.

This is obviously very good for the health of everyone involved. As if paint fumes aren’t bad enough on their own — now I have to deal with burning paint fumes? In combination with the aforementioned plant bukkake, well… I’m going back to bed. My head hurts like hell.