As somewhat of a dirty hippie, I’m usually all for trees… But after the last week or so, I’m definitely in favour of chopping down the lot of them. Fucking tree goddamn pollen! Apparently birch, maple, poplar, aspen, and cottonwood are responsible for filling my head with bricks today. There are 17,900 results for “pollen bukkake” on Google. And with good cause! Spring is the season when the flowers and the trees whip their dicks out and fucking blow their load all over America. Choice quote from Google: “Pollen is trees fucking your EYES. While screaming ‘take the bukkake, bitch!’” And it fucking stings like hell, too! I practically need a crowbar to pry my eyelids apart in the morning.
Fuck nature.
Oprah says that you’re supposed to pour warm salt water up your nose to wash out the pollen.
Oprah is always right.
Oprah says that you’re supposed to pour warm salt water up your nose to wash out the pollen.
Oprah is always right.
Oh god, Neti Pot? No thank you.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jala_neti
Oh god, Neti Pot? No thank you.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jala_neti
I’ve never had this pollen shit before, and I mean never…until this year. Now there are tiny hedgehogs living permanently in my eyes. Fun it isn’t.
Maybe I should invent a disposable bubble helmet for the tree-fucking season. Or maybe a pair of glasses with tiny air nozzles to shoot the pollen away.
Actually that last one really exists; I just can’t find the link…
I’ve never had this pollen shit before, and I mean never…until this year. Now there are tiny hedgehogs living permanently in my eyes. Fun it isn’t.
Maybe I should invent a disposable bubble helmet for the tree-fucking season. Or maybe a pair of glasses with tiny air nozzles to shoot the pollen away.
Actually that last one really exists; I just can’t find the link…