“U” instead of “You” is the new “eXtreme”

This Kotex commercial has been making the rounds because it’s all snarky meta-commentary on how most feminine hygiene products have nothing to do with what they’re selling. Right. Because no one actually wants a commercial that says, “Put this in your cooze, it will plug things up for awhile.” — link

I do. That’s why I use O.B. I don’t want the flowery white spandex dreck, and I don’t want the the flowery white spandex dreck is dreck dreck. I don’t want pink, pearly applicators. I don’t want hip and trendy, brightly coloured applicators that come in edgy black boxes instead. I just want a wad of cotton with a string on it to shove up there. I think this commercial is even more retarded than all those other retarded tampon commercials. It’s for those dumb shit women who are still dumb as shit but think they’re savvy and feel superior when really they’re just not quite as shittily dumb as most other dumb shit women, meaning that they are at least slightly superior, I guess, but not superior enough to be so smug about it. I think that’s the target market they’re going for. Does that demographic have a more concise name? Teenagers? And actually, I’m not going to embed the damned thing. If I do, the terrorists will have won. If you don’t know what I’m talking about already, have fun searching for tampons on Google… Actually, try Jezebel. There’s probably a post about it over there that would make me hate the universe at least 10% more (which is why I stopped reading that dreck). Anyway, they’ve been advertising this junk in this way in at least one or two other countries for a few years, and it wasn’t very ground-breaking then, either. Something cheesy about a beaver.

(Haha, cheesy… beaver… I smell a new Monistat campaign… haha… smell… wow, this is only going to double my vagina-related traffic, isn’t it — and pretty much 90% of my traffic is vagina-related).

Okay, bored now.

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