How do you cut your sandwiches?

Diagonally or horizontally?

I cut mine properly.

Vertically.

Why is vertical sandwich-cutting so rarely seen as a viable option?

Come on! It’s the only way to attain any approximation of sandwich symmetry, and therefore it’s the best way.

Since it’s the best way, it’s my way.

And since it’s my way, it’s the right way.

QED

28 thoughts on “How do you cut your sandwiches?

  1. No!!! That’s just unnatural. Sandwiches should be triangular – either big triangles (2) or small ones (4). It makes them easier to eat, you see.

  2. No!!! That’s just unnatural. Sandwiches should be triangular – either big triangles (2) or small ones (4). It makes them easier to eat, you see.

  3. Oh, I love it!! I am a fan of the vertical as well for the same reasons!
    Diagonals are just unnatural. Who wants to eat a sandwich with pointy edges?

  4. Oh, I love it!! I am a fan of the vertical as well for the same reasons!
    Diagonals are just unnatural. Who wants to eat a sandwich with pointy edges?

  5. wafelenbak: The pointy edges add an element of danger that is otherwise lacking in the whole sandwich experience. And the pointier the better.

  6. wafelenbak: The pointy edges add an element of danger that is otherwise lacking in the whole sandwich experience. And the pointier the better.

  7. i do not cut my sandwiches at all. what does that say about me?

  8. i do not cut my sandwiches at all. what does that say about me?

  9. I cut mine vertically and trim off the crust. That’s just the way I do it.

    I really dig your blog layout, by the way.

  10. I cut mine vertically and trim off the crust. That’s just the way I do it.

    I really dig your blog layout, by the way.

  11. Not cutting your sandwiches at all… well, I don’t know specifically what that says about you, but I do know from experience that it’s a good indicator that Sam is not short for anything feminine, like Samantha. I’ve only ever seen males eating uncut sandwiches. Yes, this evidence is anecdotal. No, I don’t care.

    As for pointy edges… It’s probably best that I avoid pointy things in general as much as possible. I’m a terrible klutz. I never did “grow into” my suddenly elongated limbs after my growth spurt. Any pointy lunch-foods are liable to end up in my eye, somehow.

  12. Not cutting your sandwiches at all… well, I don’t know specifically what that says about you, but I do know from experience that it’s a good indicator that Sam is not short for anything feminine, like Samantha. I’ve only ever seen males eating uncut sandwiches. Yes, this evidence is anecdotal. No, I don’t care.

    As for pointy edges… It’s probably best that I avoid pointy things in general as much as possible. I’m a terrible klutz. I never did “grow into” my suddenly elongated limbs after my growth spurt. Any pointy lunch-foods are liable to end up in my eye, somehow.

  13. PAgirly, if only it was designed by me. I used to do all my own blog layouts, but then one day I upgraded WordPress, and found that I’d have to recode a bunch of things to make my layout compatible. So I installed a “temporary” replacement, and… Well, I’m a lazy ass.

    But you can believe I put a lot of effort into finding a template that wasn’t awful :-p

    Hell, probably almost enough that I could have just gone and made myself a new one in the time it took.

  14. PAgirly, if only it was designed by me. I used to do all my own blog layouts, but then one day I upgraded WordPress, and found that I’d have to recode a bunch of things to make my layout compatible. So I installed a “temporary” replacement, and… Well, I’m a lazy ass.

    But you can believe I put a lot of effort into finding a template that wasn’t awful :-p

    Hell, probably almost enough that I could have just gone and made myself a new one in the time it took.

  15. Doesn’t change anything. Hypothetically, if you were to eat a sandwich, how would you prefer it be cut…?

  16. Doesn’t change anything. Hypothetically, if you were to eat a sandwich, how would you prefer it be cut…?

  17. This post made me smile.

    I usually cut vertically, however trangular is easier to eat, I think.

  18. This post made me smile.

    I usually cut vertically, however trangular is easier to eat, I think.

  19. Vertical cut.

    Although I usually just fold them in half … along the vertical axis ofcourse.

  20. Vertical cut.

    Although I usually just fold them in half … along the vertical axis ofcourse.

  21. I’m a moody sandwich-eater.
    Sometimes vertical cut, sometimes a HORIZONTAL cut (HA!), sometimes diagonal.
    I like the Diagonal cut because after you bite off the two points, you have an arrow shape. You can then ask yourself, “who’s cool?” and then point the sandwich at yourself!
    :-)

  22. I’m a moody sandwich-eater.
    Sometimes vertical cut, sometimes a HORIZONTAL cut (HA!), sometimes diagonal.
    I like the Diagonal cut because after you bite off the two points, you have an arrow shape. You can then ask yourself, “who’s cool?” and then point the sandwich at yourself!
    :-)

  23. My daughter will freak out if I cut vertically. I personally don’t care, as long as there’s plenty of bacon on the motherfucker.

  24. My daughter will freak out if I cut vertically. I personally don’t care, as long as there’s plenty of bacon on the motherfucker.

  25. I get all torn up about this every time I make a sandwich. On the one hand, symmetry is nice. On the other, a diagonal cut gives you two totally different taste experiences in one meal (one crusty, one not so much).

    Half the time I just don’t cut it at all. BUT WHICH HALF?! :O

  26. I get all torn up about this every time I make a sandwich. On the one hand, symmetry is nice. On the other, a diagonal cut gives you two totally different taste experiences in one meal (one crusty, one not so much).

    Half the time I just don’t cut it at all. BUT WHICH HALF?! :O

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