No, seriously. Steal my car.

Still didn’t manage to get those stickers for my windshield, so I had to park on Mars all this week to avoid my car being mysteriously disappeared. Stupid Cubs and their stupid night games! Even when I’m parking somewhere that it’s legal to do so, I feel ridiculous amounts of terribly terrible paranoia. Because the only reason I can ever think of that somebody wouldn’t be parked in a nice big spot already is that the spot is the most illegallest spot in the universe, and they’re watching me park there at that very moment, and are going to mysteriously disappear my car as soon as I round the corner. I’m pretty sure that’s what I’m going to find out when I go outside today. I don’t enjoy being preoccupied with parking my car, and this is why I really wish it would no longer exist. Plus, parallel parking still makes me anger. Whatever the secret is that allows people to do this amazing feat, I have yet to discover it. I blame the driving instructor that “taught” me these things. His method involved lining up the back of the other car so that it would be in a specific position in the window. Yeah, that works for your car, mister. Too bad I don’t have the same kind of windows in mine. Bastard.

It’s not all that bad here, though. Ha! I moved here from Indiana, are you kidding me? The grocery stores here sell a few President’s Choice products… and since I am Canadian, and there is no Zehrs in the area, I find this quite acceptable. I am eating me some PC cookies at this very moment. And also, they had Heinz baked beans without disgusting brown sugar and/or molasses (or any kind of pork product) added in order to ruin my delicious beans on toast experience. Sean says “What are you, a hobo?” He does not understand how I can be excited about beans on toast. More for me! I saw some NestlĂ© chocolate bars that I haven’t seen since I’ve moved to the U.S., too (no Smarties, though). I found a few of these things in the “International” aisle, in what seemed to be the British section. At least, I must assume that only the British could be responsible for something as disgusting sounding as “spotted dick”, which was right next to the beans and the HP sauce… Then again, I guess they’re also responsible for beans on toast, so I forgive them.

2 thoughts on “No, seriously. Steal my car.

  1. how does that bill hicks routine go?…

    you don’t boil pizza!

  2. how does that bill hicks routine go?…

    you don’t boil pizza!

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