Tried to sleep. Didn’t take. My thoughts are racing, but I’m not thinking anything, so it’s difficult to stop. Just random sounds and concepts repeating. Over and over and over again. Because that’s what repeating means. I’m restless, but paralyzed. It’s a very uncomfortable state of being. This happens to me now and then. Eventually, the restlessness overpowers the paralysis. How that built up energy manifests itself, that’s what I can never predict. I guess it depends what sort of mood I’m in when my brain reaches that singularity. What will it be this time? Creativity or destruction? At the moment, all I know is that this is giving me a headache.
That happens to me way too often, usually nights before I have to go to work. I'll get up from just laying there for a few hours with my thoughts racing and try to get to work without accidentally killing myself on the road. The thing that really drives me crazy is out of all the nasty shit rattling around in my head there's usually one phrase just repeating over the top of all of it. A couple days ago it was something like, “When glass windows break, do they feel pain? When glass windows break, do they feel pane? When glass windows break, do they feel pained?” Gah! It feels like brain damage some mornings. Or maybe schizophrenia.
I would suggest a foam rubiks cube. You can cure your restlessness and creativity but when you become destructive, no one has to die from a rubiks cube.
I subsequently long for and loathe to reach this point. I do some of my best writing when I find that point. However I seem to more off than not choose the destructive path and wallow in self pity in a corner for awhile. I feel your pain, good luck with the sleep!
Turn the middle side topwise!
I did manage to knock myself out with Klonopin, but now 10pm is my morning. I would either write or paint right about now, but I *can't* do that when my house is messy (because I'm insane). So I'll probably end up frantically cleaning all night. Alphabetizing my sock drawer, etc.
Nah, not schizophrenia. Maybe OCD. I suspect that I'm mildly affected… I get phrases stuck in my head all the time. The last amusing one was “the mountain with the biggest tits in the world” (from a Monty Python sketch). But there's usually something bouncing around in there. And it's not all that rare for me to accidentally substitute a word I'm meaning to say with my brain's nonsense thoughts.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echolalia / http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palilalia / http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
Wheeeeeee! The internet is great for convincing yourself you have every disease known to man.
I would suggest a foam rubiks cube. You can cure your restlessness and creativity but when you become destructive, no one has to die from a rubiks cube.
I subsequently long for and loathe to reach this point. I do some of my best writing when I find that point. However I seem to more off than not choose the destructive path and wallow in self pity in a corner for awhile. I feel your pain, good luck with the sleep!
Turn the middle side topwise!
I did manage to knock myself out with Klonopin, but now 10pm is my morning. I would either write or paint right about now, but I *can't* do that when my house is messy (because I'm insane). So I'll probably end up frantically cleaning all night. Alphabetizing my sock drawer, etc.
Nah, not schizophrenia. Maybe OCD. I suspect that I'm mildly affected… I get phrases stuck in my head all the time. The last amusing one was “the mountain with the biggest tits in the world” (from a Monty Python sketch). But there's usually something bouncing around in there. And it's not all that rare for me to accidentally substitute a word I'm meaning to say with my brain's nonsense thoughts.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echolalia / http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palilalia / http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
Wheeeeeee! The internet is great for convincing yourself you have every disease known to man.