Watching Much Music this week, and hearing news of yet another fight between opposing “hip-hop” (my brother assures me this is what they are, but I’m not up with the lingo, or “hip to the jive” if you will) artists (which ones, I don’t remember, I wasn’t paying careful attention. But does it even matter?), I realized (now, this did not take a lot of thought) (this is another set of parentheses just for fun) that there is quite obviously an extreme over-population of the species, resulting in most of the recent violent behaviour. Each family group of these artists occupies an extensive territorial range, and will not tolerate intrusion by other family groups (i.e. “East Side” vs. “West Side”).

This is why I propose an open hunting season on hip-hop artists and their gangs (or “clans,” “posses,” etc). Their numbers must be evened out to balance the ecosystem of popular music. By instigating a controlled culling, perhaps a better level sustainability can be attained in the environment between hip-hop artists, and artists of all other musical styles. If the population is allowed to swell further, it could have a negative impact on other species, most particularly the “boy-band” and “girl-band” populations, which compete for the same spotlight. Planned herd management to control the recent population boom will additionally prevent random outburts of violence, resulting in safer clubbing for all. The ecosystem can only support a certain number of P. Diddys…

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