I am shocked. Kelloggs, one of the companies I constantly barrage with pointless ranting e-mails when I’ve got nothing better to do has sent me a reply. Simply amazing. They rarely bother with me. I had e-mailed them several times, pointing out that their superhero cartoon bull, Uder, from the Kelloggs Cereal & Milk Bar commercials should not be able to give milk, for the simple reason that he is well… a he.

Their message:

Hi Candice,

Thank you for your e mail.

So you’re wondering why I’ve got udders? Well, I have mechanical udders
so miiiilk it anytime I want! Let’s get splooshing!

Uder the Cow.

This response is not exactly what I would call satisfactory. Especially in that it does not address the gender issues I had brought up in my message. I believe there is a severe sexism problem within the breakfast cereal cartoon icon industry that needs to be acted upon. Uder is the most prominent symbol of this discrimination; here we have a position requiring what you would assume were female qualifications, and yet it is filled by this genetic oddity, Uder (I cannot for a minute believe the “mechanical udders” claim, as they certainly appear to be quite flesh-like). Also, I had expressed a concern about the possibility of the use of such genetically manipulated animals as a source of ingredients. I fear that such practices may be unsafe. And Kelloggs replies to my most serious letters as if this were all some big joke. I am udderly outraged. Hmph!