ATTN: Concerned parties and parties that have chosen to concern themselves

(Recently)

You have clearly never conversed with me on the topic of monogamy. If you had you would have quickly learned that my views are:

a) That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of.

,

b) For real? You’re being serious? Isn’t that boring?

,

c) Why?

,

d) That’ll never work.

and

e) Penguins are cute.

Goodnight.

Here is something much more important: