Nausea heartburn indigestion upset stomach diarrhea…

I should probably stop eating nothing but spicy mexican / cajun food washed down with cheap beer, shouldn’t I…

Yes.

Probably.

But do you think I’ll let a little discomfort and heartburn stop me?

Hells no. I will not change my eating habits. I will treat the symptom, not the disease. With over-the-counter medications. How convenient! Now I can destroy my body, and not pay until I develop terrible bleeding ulcers years in the future. Hurray!