Candice Payne

I used to think that picking your nose would stretch it out, and that’s why some people had big noses. Those people were the gold diggers. Well, that was my hypothesis, anyway. I knew that I didn’t have any supporting evidence, and I didn’t really have the means to carry out controlled experiments. So it [...]

Just ordered a new Best Skin Ever for my MP3 player (and they really are good — and cheap!) This is from the order confirmation page: Try not to mistake this envelope for junk mail and throw it out. Yes, this happens Tell your mom, wife or girlfriend about Best Skins Ever before your order [...]

You know that something is seriously bad for you in a list of ingredients when the manufacturers have decided that they need to include an excuse for adding it on the packaging, i.e. “sodium benzoate (to preserve freshness)”. This is an even better rule of thumb than “if you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it.” [...]

is one of my favourite things ever. Pay to the order of: Me. Signed: Me. Endorse here: Me. This one has a bald eagle and an American flag on it. I feel so… patriotic. Despite not being a citizen and all. Hurray for for sample cheques! I’ve never, ever used them all up. Who the [...]

Anybody wants them? I has OVER NIIIIINE THOUSAAAAAANNND!

Is it retarded that I intend to go 45 minutes out of my way today in order to purchase particular cleaning supplies? I was going to write something else, but I have the memory of… someone who doesn’t have a very long memory at all. Why am I so unable to sleep, lately?

Now that you’ve started working again at 3am… did my smellphone post ever make it through? Hm. I see that half of it did. Well, spectacular. I lose already! Bah, nevermind. As far as I am concerned, it is the 3rd until I fall asleep and wake up. Because it’s still Friday night, not Saturday [...]

Know what I don’t miss? (Well, not that I can anymore.) PMS. I switched off of NuvaRing because of, er… female issues… (Sucks, because other than those issues it was much less of a pain in the ass than anything else I’ve tried.) Right now I’m using other methods, and whhheeeee… I forgot allllll about [...]

I don’t think that the comment box is the place for conversations. Conversations belong in e-mail, on e-mail lists, or on forums. Maybe that’s just me. But the format just doesn’t really… work… properly. Bleh. I hardly ever check back to old posts to see if anyone has replied. How good do you think my [...]

Firefox requires a plugin that alters the function of the page-down function so that when I press it, any image that is partly on the screen (cut off by the bottom) is placed at the top of the screen (and not cut off by the top). That would be good. Someone make this for me.