Negativesmart

I used to think that picking your nose would stretch it out, and that’s why some people had big noses. Those people were the gold diggers. Well, that was my hypothesis, anyway. I knew that I didn’t have any supporting evidence, and I didn’t really have the means to carry out controlled experiments. So it [...]

Just ordered a new Best Skin Ever for my MP3 player (and they really are good — and cheap!)
This is from the order confirmation page:
Try not to mistake this envelope for junk mail and throw it out. Yes, this happens
Tell your mom, wife or girlfriend about Best Skins Ever before your order arrives. She thinks [...]

You know that something is seriously bad for you in a list of ingredients when the manufacturers have decided that they need to include an excuse for adding it on the packaging, i.e. “sodium benzoate (to preserve freshness)”. This is an even better rule of thumb than “if you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it.” [...]

is one of my favourite things ever.
Pay to the order of: Me. Signed: Me. Endorse here: Me.
This one has a bald eagle and an American flag on it. I feel so… patriotic. Despite not being a citizen and all. Hurray for for sample cheques! I’ve never, ever used them all up. Who the hell writes [...]

Anybody wants them? I has OVER NIIIIINE THOUSAAAAAANNND!

Is it retarded that I intend to go 45 minutes out of my way today in order to purchase particular cleaning supplies?
I was going to write something else, but I have the memory of… someone who doesn’t have a very long memory at all.
Why am I so unable to sleep, lately?

Now that you’ve started working again at 3am… did my smellphone post ever make it through? Hm. I see that half of it did. Well, spectacular. I lose already! Bah, nevermind. As far as I am concerned, it is the 3rd until I fall asleep and wake up. Because it’s still Friday night, not [...]

Know what I don’t miss? (Well, not that I can anymore.) PMS. I switched off of NuvaRing because of, er… female issues… (Sucks, because other than those issues it was much less of a pain in the ass than anything else I’ve tried.) Right now I’m using other methods, and whhheeeee… I forgot allllll about [...]

I don’t think that the comment box is the place for conversations. Conversations belong in e-mail, on e-mail lists, or on forums. Maybe that’s just me. But the format just doesn’t really… work… properly. Bleh. I hardly ever check back to old posts to see if anyone has replied. How good do you think my [...]

Firefox requires a plugin that alters the function of the page-down function so that when I press it, any image that is partly on the screen (cut off by the bottom) is placed at the top of the screen (and not cut off by the top). That would be good. Someone make this [...]

Plz? Thx.

The fact that my cat won’t allow me to remove her from my head without biting me isn’t helping, either. Good thing she likes my hair (I guess it tastes good, too?), because all Sean said after taking an hour and a half to notice that it was an entirely different length and an [...]

I plan to celebrate by staying in bed all day tomorrow and hibernating slash eating books, on account of my brain is b0rked. And on account of my Christmas present from work was having my hours (and monies) cut in half until January because the store has been dead lately. Thanks, werk.
In other news… [...]

La lutte elle-même vers les sommets suffit à remplir un coeur d’homme; il faut imaginer Sisyphe heureux.
I wish I could buy what you’re selling, Camus.
I’m giving myself a headache.

This was in my drafts folder when I woke up: “If you are yearlly so think that i would go to sleep, well go…lakdj!”
I guess I was unsuccessful at filling in the recipient, so I don’t know who it was intended for. It seems like I was angry. But about what!? [...]

The new issue of Skeptical Inquirer reprints Stephen Barrett’s “Analysis of Kevin Trudeau’s ‘Natural Cures’ Infomercial”. It’s like MST3K for skeptics. Stephen just wrote down most of the things I used to sit there yelling at Trudeau on 47 screens on Sunday mornings when I was working at Fox. Good times, those [...]

Or it would be, if only Sean paid any attention to anything I post online. Next chance I get, the Beetlejuice ringtone on our phone is so being replaced by “Yakety Sax”. No one knows the joy that it brings to me. Maybe I’m just slightly tipsy. Imma gonna get offa [...]

Peoples Energy, I shake my fist at you. $16.24 activation charge? For what? To change the information on the already existing, already working account? Don’t you think that if you are going to charge $16.24 for this service that you should make some effort to at least get that information right?
Who [...]

I don’t think I even mentioned that I was going anywhere… but you might have noticed a conspicuous silence. I’ve been out on tour for the last 10 days or so with Cyanotic, acting as official scantily-clad groupie / merch bitch. I’m still on tour actually… last day (not counting one more [...]

Daily Record - Italian PM’s ‘fat’ in soap
A bar of soap made from fat pumped from Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi after he had lipo-suction is up for sale for £10,000.
More than a little bit Fight Club-esque.