I totally forgot I was making eggs…
By Candice at 20:20:56 on Nov 20, 2008 in Books, General, Signifies all that is wrong in the world...
I’m a little absent minded these days.
Oh well.
More booze.
More pills.
More hours and hours of tedious, torturous audiobooks about vampires by Stephanie Meyer.
I am addicted to pain.
Ugh, I just got to the part where she tries clumsily to write dialogue between two teenagers deciding whether or not to have sex.
I very nearly vomited.
So, so, so very awful. I didn’t think the writing could get more torturous. I hope nobody was looking at my face while I was listening to that garbage on the bus. I must have looked ghastly.
(Synonyms for ghastly: grim, grisly, gruesome, hideous, horrible, horrid, lurid, macabre… If I was Meyer, I would be using each one three times in the next paragraph. That woman must have hours of fun hitting [Shift]-[F7] in Microsoft Word.) (Remind you to post a [Shift]-[F7]-encoded secret message post here sometime in the near future… it was a favourite game back in grade school…)
Plus, that Edward fuck is a dick, prick, cocky sonnuvabitch penis wiener, and Bella is dumb as rocks. The entire plot is so unbearably obvious (almost as unbearably beautiful as Edward, whose beauty is too beautiful to bear), and they take pages and pages and pages and pages to figure out the simplest of things. It’s infuriating. It makes me clench my fists nearly 1% as often as the characters in the books do, so… yeah, that’s a lot of fist clenching.
Gives me something better to be infuriated about than having to go to work, I guess?
And still, I gotta keep up with what the kids are into…
I’m going to go try to cook something edible now.
2 Comment(s)
By beth at 23:16:45 on Nov 21, 2008 | Reply
ahahaha, amazing rant on Twilight. you are so right on. the books are dumber than dumb but i have to admit the story is goddamn addicting. i don’t know if you’ll make it to the last book but seriously, that was painful. it took like 500 pages for them to figure out the most obvious fucking thing, seriously.
By Candice at 22:30:21 on Nov 25, 2008 | Reply
I read the 4th book yesterday. It was the worst one yet. She tried for a plot, for once, and failed, miserably. So many things going on, so many undeveloped characters, and yet, with all those words, words, words, words, words… she didn’t manage to plotify things effectively, either. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, shitty abrupt ending.