I was married in a completely secular ceremony by a member of the Universal Life Church (basically the ULC is a loophole that allows anyone who wants to to become an ordained minister). I would imagine that according to strict Christian tradition, they’d have to consider me to be unmarried, since God had nothing to do with it. Except that by law, I am married (since they conflate what the government does with what their church does), and therefore Christians somehow feel justified in believing that their Christian dogma about marriage applies to me. It does not. And this really does bother me. I don’t appreciate having all of their expectations on me. I feel free to approach my marriage in any way my husband and I find appropriate. Screw anyone who thinks that the piece of paper I’ve got in my files restricts me to a certain, pre-conceived (mainly religiously-derived) set of appropriate behaviours. If the government gave that piece of paper a different name, I think I would be spared some of this burden.

Marriage between one man and one woman… to me, that’s a violation of the separation of church and state. This is an ideological issue. It’s a freedom of expression issue. And try as hard as they may, preventing people from using the title “married” will not change anyone’s biology or actions. You can’t cause an entire class of human beings and their associated behaviours to cease to exist by eliminating the vocabulary. I don’t care what Orwell wrote in Nineteen Eighty-Four. I still can’t see what these assholes think they’re accomplishing.

I’m actually becoming quite disgusted with the term “married” altogether. Too many religious implications for an atheist like me. I think I’d like to find some other way to describe my situation. Christians can keep their “marriage”… I’d like to see the rest of us abandon it, replacing it with whatever we find personally meaningful.

I was married in a completely secular ceremony by a member of the Universal Life Church (basically the ULC is a loophole that allows anyone who wants to to become an ordained minister). I would imagine that according to strict Christian tradition, they’d have to consider me to be unmarried, since God had nothing to do with it. Except that by law, I am married (since they conflate what the government does with what their church does), and therefore Christians somehow feel justified in believing that their Christian dogma about marriage applies to me. It does not. And this really does bother me. I don’t appreciate having all of their expectations on me. I feel free to approach my marriage in any way my husband and I find appropriate. Screw anyone who thinks that the piece of paper I’ve got in my files restricts me to a certain, pre-conceived (mainly religiously-derived) set of appropriate behaviours. If the government gave that piece of paper a different name, I think I would be spared some of this burden.

Marriage between one man and one woman… to me, that’s a violation of the separation of church and state. This is an ideological issue. It’s a freedom of expression issue. And try as hard as they may, preventing people from using the title “married” will not change anyone’s biology or actions. You can’t cause an entire class of human beings and their associated behaviours to cease to exist by eliminating the vocabulary. I don’t care what Orwell wrote in Nineteen Eighty-Four. I still can’t see what these assholes think they’re accomplishing.

I’m actually becoming quite disgusted with the term “married” altogether. Too many religious implications for an atheist like me. I think I’d like to find some other way to describe my situation. Christians can keep their “marriage”… I’d like to see the rest of us abandon it, replacing it with whatever we find personally meaningful.

I think there was actually a scene on The West Wing where a gay congressman had said he wanted the government to get out of the marriage business altogether.

Marriage is a label we put onto a religious ceremony/union and an entity that is formed when two people choose to live as a couple permanently (or indefinitely).

I think the government got into marriage business many centuries ago because they wanted to usurp the church’s authority on the matter.

In my opinion – if you want to get married – go to a church and that can be your little ceremony – but that ceremony should have nothing to do with whether the government think you’re together.

All other people (straight and otherwise) should have to form a “civil union” or some other binding agreement very much like a partnership agreement.

In fact, I think they should be compelled to do just that and put it in writing – including who will do what, how much each will contribute and what happens when one person dies or they decide to end it.

Then they should be forced to sign it in front of some kind of notary and a public official (judge, clerk, etc.).

I think if people were forced to look at and sign a document telling them all the implications involved with being married – you’d have a lot less marriages and a lot less divorces of those that do get married.

Nice post.

I think there was actually a scene on The West Wing where a gay congressman had said he wanted the government to get out of the marriage business altogether.

Marriage is a label we put onto a religious ceremony/union and an entity that is formed when two people choose to live as a couple permanently (or indefinitely).

I think the government got into marriage business many centuries ago because they wanted to usurp the church’s authority on the matter.

In my opinion – if you want to get married – go to a church and that can be your little ceremony – but that ceremony should have nothing to do with whether the government think you’re together.

All other people (straight and otherwise) should have to form a “civil union” or some other binding agreement very much like a partnership agreement.

In fact, I think they should be compelled to do just that and put it in writing – including who will do what, how much each will contribute and what happens when one person dies or they decide to end it.

Then they should be forced to sign it in front of some kind of notary and a public official (judge, clerk, etc.).

I think if people were forced to look at and sign a document telling them all the implications involved with being married – you’d have a lot less marriages and a lot less divorces of those that do get married.

Nice post.