How do you cut your sandwiches?

Diagonally or horizontally?

I cut mine properly.

Vertically.

Why is vertical sandwich-cutting so rarely seen as a viable option?

Come on! It’s the only way to attain any approximation of sandwich symmetry, and therefore it’s the best way.

Since it’s the best way, it’s my way.

And since it’s my way, it’s the right way.

QED