I wish I could just write employers a nice little note instead of pulling some jargon-filled resume out of my ass, and sucking up for four paragraphs in a cover letter. It would say “Hi, I’m Candice. I’m better than those other jerks. Just ask anyone. That’s the only thing you need to know. I will be waiting for your job offer at (555)-123-4567. Bye now!”

I hate having to pretend to be some robotic clone, and I’ve never been good at protocol. Then again, if they realized who I actually was (not a robotic clone) they would probably hire one of the real automatons instead of me in the first place. Because that’s exactly what they’re looking for. And exactly why I don’t want a stinkin’ job in the first place. Eh. At least I’m a moderately good actor. Gonna go practice my dead-soul-fake-smile in the mirror some more.

I’m too lazy for non-conformity, though. Creativity= effort = the enemy. I should get off of my ass and just go be the starving artist I probably am… But for now I’m just starving. Job plz!